BMW's & Bifocals by Tom Meister

       I have put off getting bifocals for a long time just because I didn‘t want to mess with them.  My glasses were finally in the same shape as my riding boots, not good.  It was time to throw in the towel and get new glasses with bifocals.  (I should have gotten tri-focals.)
       This last Saturday I wanted to go for a ride and decided to go to Sioux City and pick up a few things at Menard‘s.  (Don‘t know why but on Highway 20 at Holstein, IA, they were flying the American flag.   If over a quarter mile double row of flags in a twenty mile wind doesn‘t make you
proud to be an American, nothing will.)
       Spring was in the air, everyone and their dog were shopping.  I bought two out of three items that I wanted.  Went out to the RT and removed myjacket and helmet from the saddle bags and loaded them with my items.  When I went to insert the key in the dash, thanks to my new to me bifocals,
I missed the slot by a mere half inch.  The key hit the flat part of the dash, twisted and fell down some where into the fairing.  No problem, right? Wrong!!!  I looked & looked & looked.  My hands were in more places than two teenagers on prom night.  Got on the bike and pushed the forks up and down trying to make the key fall to the pavement.  Nothing.  After ten minutes I finally gave in, hoped my spare key was still in its triple-top-secret-hiding-place on the bike and it was.  After unwrapping the key from a carefully wrapped match box, I very carefully inserted the key into the
dash.  I had to try one more time to look for that #!!!# key.  The sun must have moved just enough that I could see a glint of chrome down beside the headlight bucket.  Alright!!  Should have gone to plan B right away but no I had to reach my big hand in and try to slide the key up to where I could
grab it.  On the third try it slipped and fell out of sight again.  At this point I could have kicked King Kong‘s butt.
       That did it, the RT wasn‘t moving until that #!!!# key was in my hands.  Time for plan B which should have been plan A in the first place.  Went back in the store and bought the neatest extend-a-magnet made.  It was a combination LED light with a small flex end magnet on the end of an
extended twelve inch shaft.  Even with this work of art it took over a dozen tries to finally snag the little bugger.  I must have been on camera and looked like I was hot wiring the bike because before I was finished a young store employee came out to see what the problem was.  A pickup next to
me left during my little problem solving ordeal and before I left I looked over and saw three brand new inch and a half stainless steel hose clamps laying on the pavement.  Life is good!!
       When I got home I moved my BMWMOA Anonymous Book from a locked storage area to my triple-top-secret-storage-area.  Have to be ready for the next screw-up.  Happy Trails, Tom